Unit 6: Loving Me :)

1. Practice the universal Loving Kindness (meditation) exercise on p. 93.
2. Complete the Integral Assessment discussed in chapter 11 (p.115).
3. Describe the exercise and assessment process. What did you discover about yourself? What area have you chosen to be a focus of growth and development? Why? What are some specific exercises or activities that you can implement to foster greater wellness in this area?

          I had a hard time practicing the universal Loving Kindness meditation and the Integral Assessment this week. First off, it was hard to follow the directions and read at the same time. So, I recorded myself reading it. Then I couldn't focus because of how weird my voice sounded. Then, I finally started to get past the weirdness of my own voice to really focus on what the Loving Kindness exercise was about. I felt like I could really understand what I was saying. For me, repeating these phrases was like saying a prayer. So I prayed for freedom from suffering, and sustained health, happiness, and wholeness for myself and all those around me. I discovered during these prayers that I truly do want these things. I felt myself praying with deep emotion for this peace to come into this rotten world.

         Then....I couldn't decide what part of myself needed focus of growth and development. Is it psychospiritual? Biological? Interpersonal? Worldly? I came to the conclusion that I need growth and development on all of the above. Next, my dilemma was which one do I need most? I tend to over think most things and this apparently was not going to be any different. I found myself drifting off to the different areas of my life that I need to improve. Not the just areas that need improvement. Areas that I, me, myself, need to make improvements on. First let me say that I have a wonderful life. A loving and devoted husband; A super awesome, respectful, funny teenager (how many people can brag on that?!); A ridiculously sweet 10 year old boy who loves his mama with all his might; A precious little 3 month old muffin with an adorable gummy grin that I am so blessed to be able stay home with; and two cattle dog fur children who greet me with crazy enthusiasm every day. So with all these blessings, I feel almost unworthy of them. The things that matter most to me are seemingly perfect! So that means that all of the improvements that need to be made are within myself. I need to nurture my relationship with Jesus, to grow closer to Him for not only myself, but so that I can be an example to my children. I need to get healthier and back in shape, for myself, my husband, and again,  that I can be an example of healthy living for my kids. I need to nurture my friendships, especially when I can tend to be a hermit and seclude myself from those that care about me. I need to work on following through. When I start something, I need to dedicate 150% to finishing the "mission" as my husband, Captain Nettles, would say. :)

        The more I contemplated these things in prayer or meditation, the more I realized that it mostly boils down to loving myself. Loving myself has always been difficult for me. If we were to get into all the psychological reasons for it, which we won't, it makes perfect sense. I have come a long way from the lost, abused, insecure little girl I once was but I still have a long way to go. I think that continuing on the path that I am on and incorporating more exercises like meditation into my daily life, I will learn to love myself thoroughly and in turn, the areas of my life that need improvement will begin to fall into place. I feel so much love in my life and I love so fiercely that it's hard to imagine that I have a hard time loving myself. I have a God who sacrificed so much for me! Focusing on Him through prayer and meditation will continue to help me heal and allow me to fully enjoy all the blessings I have been given. :)

The Subtle Mind and Spiritual Wellness

Compare and contrast the Loving Kindness exercise and the Subtle mind exercise. Explain your experience including the benefits, frustrations etc.

 

          The Loving-Kindness exercise was okay until we were instructed to inhale other people's pain and suffering. Like I said last week, I was not okay with that since that is something I've always been taught against doing. The Subtle mind exercise was more focused on breathing and just being. I had a hard time with this for different reasons than the Loving-kindness exercise.In comparison to the Loving-kindness exercise, the Subtle Mind exercise seemed easier at first. I thought "oh, breathing, I can do this". Then my mind would take off and I would think about the picture day money I needed to send to school with my youngest son the next day and the produce I needed to order from our food co-op. Then, as I would start to fall asleep, I would start to have very strange dream like scenarios run through my head.   If my mind wasn't wandering, I was falling asleep. I did this exercise three different times at three different times of day. Obviously, I need more sleep...lol! After three sessions I still could not achieve a stillness and I had a hard time refocusing on my breath once my mind would wander. I think I will try this exercise several more times before I quit it altogether. This is something I know I would benefit from if I can master it! I do have a very busy mind! I never did fully get to the calm-abiding part. When she said to let my mind float, I was frustrated because I was still desperately trying to tame my mind. :/

 

Discuss the connection of the spiritual wellness to mental and physical wellness. Explain how the connection is manifested in your personal life.

 

          A person who is looking to find spiritual wellness is able to find a balance between their thoughts and beliefs and the social and physical aspects of their life. To have spiritual wellness means to be fully tolerant and accepting of others, including those who think differently from them. They experience more peace as a result which also reflects a healthier mental and physical state. I am by no means going to say that I am spiritually "there", but I will say that this is something I work very hard towards. As I've stated before, I am a believer and look to Jesus as my role model. Jesus accepted everyone and loved freely, even those who persecuted Him. For me, this is the perfect example of spiritual wellness. Since becoming a believer, I do have a certain peace inside and the things and people who used to bother me no longer do. I do not get easily angered and the people who used to upset me or just plain annoy me, I now have a new patience for. I noticed a difference in my job right away. I used to be a stylist/massage therapist (well, I still am. I'm just pausing for now...) and in the salon world there is a whole lot of drama. It was in the middle of this part of my life where I found this peace and I immediately noticed a change when I stopped letting people upset me. My appointment book became fuller and my tips got bigger. I know that this was a result of the way I had changed. No one around me changed, it was simply me changing the way I perceived things. When I changed my spiritual wellbeing, I was happier mentally and felt better physically as well. I realized that people and circumstances may be out of our control, but we can change the way these things affect us simply by changing the way we receive them. For me, it began as a simple step towards spiritual wellness. And I didn't even know it at the time! :)

 

Jo

I am a Unique, Precious, Expression of Life...

Describe your experience. Did you find it beneficial? Difficult? Why or why not? Would you recommend this to others? Why or why not?

 

Ok, so the Loving-Kindness exercise wasn't my favorite. I can say that the beginning of it was a breeze. Imagining a loved one close to my heart was easy. All of my children give me that warm, fuzzy, feeling of love when I think of them. Of course, as of late, I've had a miniature human being attached to me 90% of the time and this time was no different. Coralyn was asleep on my chest, wrapped snuggly in my Moby wrap. Next, I had to turn the feelings of love inward towards myself. That was a bit difficult, but okay, I tried it. For some strange reason I had thoughts of being sexually abused as a child and I realized it is much more difficult to feel those feelings for myself. I accepted this as a benefit of the exercise and thought, okay, this is what the exercise is about. Then I was instructed to visualize a loved one's pain and suffering, but I did not agree with the notion to inhale their pain and suffering. I understand that we are not literally doing this, but as a massage therapist I was always taught to maintain a certain boundary in order to keep other people's negative energy at bay. I do not agree with taking in negativity, even if it is for someone else's benefit. So honestly, after that, I kind of drifted off. I did tune into the "Unique, Precious, Expression of Life" though. That really stuck with me. ;) I plan on using that phrase, especially when my husband shows a bit of frustration with my lack of organizational skills....Ha!

 

I probably wouldn't recommend this exercise to others because it seemed a bit "out there" for most people. I am familiar with these types of exercises and am very open minded to them, but I don't think most people would be. Another reason is because I felt there was too much time in between. I kept opening my eyes to check my computer and my mind kept drifting off to the fact that my butt was falling asleep, and I was getting hungry again. These are things you don't want to think about while doing a Loving-Kindness type of exercise. ;)

 

What is the concept of "mental workout"? What does the research indicate are the proven benefits of a mental workout? How can you implement mental workouts to foster your psychological health?

 

The concept of a "mental workout" is similar to that of a physical workout. In order to start having loving, positive things happen in your life, you need to start with loving, positive thoughts. That does not happen without conscious effort to create space in your mind for positive things. Human flourishing cannot happen without contemplative practice. Just as an athlete cannot achieve Olympian level of fitness without daily exercise, one cannot live a psychospiritual life with all its benefits without daily practice. Health, happiness, and wholeness are the proven benefits of a daily mental workout.

 

I actually do practice mental workouts on a daily basis and I didn't realize it until very recently. Every morning (well, almost) my children and I have a small devotion or bible study and we each say something positive that we can each take with us from it. And every study ends with a talk of love and different ways we can show love in our day to day life.  We talk about the importance of loving ourselves. I push this on my children because they are rapidly approaching a time in their life where peer pressure is stronger than ever, insecurities rise, and self confidence drops. I am always worried that I will not have talked to them enough and that my mistakes in life will follow through into my children's lives. I didn't realize until recently that these things are important for me too. I need to be an example to my children because they learn most from example. I think that our morning talks have helped me as much as I hope that they help them. :)

Just Us! (Pictures)

 

I just wanted to share with you all some pictures of my family and my newest addition. :)

 

 

 

 

The day after my daughter was born. 1/13/13

 

 

My daughter: 4 days old

 

 

A quiet moment: 6 weeks old

 

 

8 weeks old

 

 

My sweet girl and me: 9.5 weeks old

 



 

Easter Sunday: 11 weeks old

 

 

 

My Physical, Psychological, and Spiritual Wellness

Based on your reflections, and on a scale of 1 to 10 (ten being optimal wellbeing), where do you rate your A-physical wellbeing, B-spiritual well-being, C-psychological well-being? Why?

I would rate my physical well being as a 5. I chose a 5 only because I just had a baby and I am definitely not in the shape I was in before I conceived. Prior to being pregnant I was very active. I rode my bicycle to run errands, up to 12 miles one way a day, 4 days a week. I ran 3.5 miles a day, and I did the Insanity workout. Why I thought I was in poor shape then, I don't know. I am just getting back to running and am happy to say that I ran my 3.5 mile route twice this week!  Another reason I chose 5 is because I went clothes shopping this week. Nothing brings on post partum depression quite like pant shopping in sizes double what you used to be....lol!

I rate my spiritual well-being as a 6. I consider myself a very spiritual person and yet, I fall so short. This is something I am working on and learning more about every day. Before starting this class I was taking two other classes. I was extremely overwhelmed and falling into a dark depression. I have never stopped taking classes before and have taken up to 3 at one time, but something just wasn't right. It's funny the way life works out sometimes. Since starting this class and getting back in touch with mind/body awareness, I have felt better, and have been making daily strides in balancing my spiritual, physical, and psychological self.

I rate my psychological well being at a 6 also. We are new to our area and I am a new stay at home mom. I am used to being around adults and socializing on a daily basis. I love and adore my husband and kids but I find myself a bit lost at home, without the social interaction that I had before. Earlier this week I joined a mommy group and did my first mommy group workout. I've never done that before and I have to say it was a blast! I left there feeling so pumped up but also realized just how much having a social life is important to my well-being.

Develop a goal for yourself in each area (physical, spiritual, psychological).
What activities or exercise can you implement in your life to assist in moving toward each goal?

My goal physically is to lose weight. Sounds simple, but it has been a challenge for me since I hit my 30's. Physically, I want to be able to increase my speed and gain my strength back. Also, my goal is to be able to beat my husband in a race. I used to be faster than him in a sprint and I know that when I am able to leave him in the dust, I will have gotten my groove back. :)

My spiritual goal is a bit more complicated. I know that realistically I will never be at a 10, however, my goal will always to strive for a 10. My goal spiritually will be the journey of trying to reach that level. To experience all I can, to grow closer to God through those experiences (bad and good), and to have absolute faith in every aspect of my life. When people meet me, I want them to instantly recognize that I am a follower and a believer. Without being self righteous or pushing people away of course. To love without limits and to show love to everyone I meet.

My psychological goal will be to take physical steps in getting past this funk I've been in. Call it depression if you will. I want to force myself to meet more people here and become more social without impeding on time with my family. I took steps towards that this week and am excited to keep it going.

Complete the relaxation exercise The Crime of the Century. To hear this exercise, click here. Describe your experience. (What it beneficial? Frustrating? etc.)

My first thought during the exercise was "this does not have anything to do with the crime of the century". I still don't see the connection....lol! This time around I did not fall asleep. But I did have to focus very hard to...well, focus. I had to restart it a couple times in order to really hear what he was telling me to do. My daughter got hungry so I ended up feeding her during the exercise. She became very calm as well and just sat there with her eyes wide open listening to the speaker. Once I was able to relax I was able to really feel the light. At one point during the indigo blue part, I touched the spot between my eyes and felt that spot tingle the whole time he was talking. I also swear I saw a little butterfly, clear as day while my eyes were closed. It lasted only about 10 seconds or so, but it was really cool. I know, sounds kind of cuckoo but it happened! I plan on sitting my kiddos down to listen to this with me and do this exercise. The part of being loved and most importantly showing love was very moving to me. This is something I have been talking to my boys about since they were little. They fight a lot, and yet, are able to be gracious and loving outside of our home. I know that sibling rivalry is normal, but if they can master showing love to each other during not-so-loving times, than when it is time for them to leave our home and be out in the world on their own, they will be able to approach all situations, including the negative ones, with love.